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Roommate Dick / Roommate Dick Apologizes

Dear Roommate,

Part of me wants you to get hit by a bus, and the other part of me just wants to get you a book on proper grammar.

--Your Roommate


Dear Former Rommate,

All good things come to an end. You discovered the source of the "ass smell." I don't know if it was confusion or confrontation, but when you asked if I had an idea of what caused that odor, I bit my lip hard enough to bleed.